Wednesday, December 30, 2009

life...

it's funny how sometimes i sit here at my desk and talk to people at doctor's offices and say "this is rachael with continucare" and then i just sit here and am like.....that was weird. it's weird that people take me seriously (well most of the time) and that i'm an actual adult. sometimes i still feel like a 18 year old just starting out on my own and that i have no actual reason to be affiliated with a certain company. wow....it was weird! it sometimes seems that my mind still thinks that its a not so much of an adult but more kid still. while this may be true in some aspects, it's not in the fact that i have bills just like adults and responsibilities just like an adult, and have to work just like an adult, and have to take care of myself just like an adult....way overrated. what it would be like to be 10 again and not have to go to school, but just playing and being 10 and carefree. yeah that would be awesome....

my brother left yesterday. it was sad, it's weird that we won't see him for 2 years but he is doing the Lord's work, and that's the important thing to remember. he started crying....that's when i started to get sad....i was excited for him...i know that he's been waiting for this for a long time, but now that it's here i guess it would be a little scary. my mom tried to hide her tears, but when we got home i heard her sobbing in the bathroom (isn't it funny how that door makes it seem like the world is so far away) do you know how hard it is to hear someone you love crying and can't really do anything for them? it sucks!....just so you know. i didn't cry, just teared up a little. it will be hard to not have any voice contact, but he's doing a greater work...and that in and of itself is a comfort.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

tis the season....

I love Christmas!!! There is just a special spirit about it that just makes me happier. I love that this special time as been set aside all over the world to remember the birth of the Savior of the World. To feel and know the love that He has for us! I love giving people presents and i love watching them open them knowing they will love them! I love feeling the excitement that the little children have for Santa Clause to come to their house and leave presents under the tree. There is just a feeling in the air that makes you want to be a better person and make everyday of the year Christmas for your family and friends. I LOVE IT!!! It makes me want to be able to get everyone i know something awesome for Christmas, or make them something!!! I love Christmas Carols and the happiness that they put in the spirit around me! I love little boys who love Christmas so much that they go around singing "jingle bells, jinble bells" because that's the only part they know. I love everything about Christmas!!! I love most of all our Savior Jesus Christ who was born to Mary and came into the world to "bring to pass the immortality and eterenal life of man"! That He loves all of us so much that he came to the world. ( i can't even comprehend that love yet) He gave us the opportunity to come here and prove our love to Him and His father! To live a righteous life and be able to return to His presence one day to feel the Happy magic spirit of Christmas for Eternity!!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

....not so little

so my little brother gave his "farewell" talk yesterday. I don't know why it was weird, but it was. It was the very first talk he's every written by himself.....he used to have me write them or his girlfriend...what a slacker...right! Anyways, it was a really good talk about the Holy Ghost, and it's crazy as my little brother being not so little anymore...it's crazy, he's leaving to go on his mission on the 30th and my mom is already preparing for a onslaught of missing him. It's funny but not at the same time!!!

There was another person who gave a talk yesterday and she was a young woman at camp this past summer and i think she' graduating so she won't be at the next one, but her talk was about holding up virtue and standing true. It was awesome!!! She related it that the youth today can be as influential as the founding fathers and the young men during the revolutionary war by standing for virtue in all they do and how that can affect people just as much! It was a perfect analogy for me, i loved it!!! It's great to know that there are young people who will stand for the virtue that will be key in defeating the evil forces that plague the world today!!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

home....

so i just got back from utah! It's good to be home, but at the same time it's hard. While i was in utah life was less mundane, but i don't think i would like living there again. There was a sort of excitement in the air, but at the same time theres a lot of drama associated with a college town and having 5 other roommates! we had fun while i was there, and i have a new appreciation for jacob, but i'm still an edward fan, even though he can be a jerk! Applebee's rocks and i love john, jon, and kaydee! Strawberry daiquiris take all my worries away even when they attack me! Hanging out with friends and just enjoying each other's company is so where it's at! Creepy bosses freak me out; recirculated air and being at high elevations is way overrated!!! (still feeling the effects!

The temple is awesome!! My last day in utah we went and did baptisms at the Provo Temple! It was awesome! I so needed a reenergization spiritually and that's exactly what i got! I was way tempted to not go. I was so tired and just wanted to sleep in, but it was so worth it! It just helps me to recenter my life and want to be a better person!!! It just makes me happier, and in the words of Donny Osmond that's what makes mormons different and recognizable! It's so true!!! I have been so much happier since i've been to the temple (it's been awhile since i've gone), even though i had a brain lapse and couldn't remember how to put my hands and even though the baptiser was like 2 feet shorter than me---it was all worth it!!! It's like a re-cleansing for the spirit and soul!!! (btw, can't wait til i don't have to wear those jumpsuits and can wear a temple dress instead)

It's good to be home! To be in my bed and can sprawl out as much as i want without offending anyone or making any "roommates" mad!!! I love that home is where you can be who you are and not get judged for it!!! No one is offended here because they love me for who i am, and not for what society dictates!!! I love the funny quips that my mom says and just makes me laugh! Like "chunk, chunk, chunk" or "who the heck slowed down the rotation of the earth?!?!" I love her and all she does for me!!! I love home!!!